Title: More You Understand
Word count: 397
Summary: Sam wants to remember.
Notes: Set in the same 'verse as In A State.
Sam touched an electric fence once when he was a kid. He can see it now so clearly, how he couldn't let go, numbly hanging onto the wire before the current threw him back. He swears he can still feel it, the jolt to his body and his Dad clutching him, rocking him and telling him that he couldn't do that sort of thing, it was stupid and dangerous and what if he’d lost him?
When Peter touches him, it feels like that. Pain pulsing through him and he feels like he can't let go. Like he doesn't want to and it's so different to his normal visions. This feels more intense, more violent and Sam feels powerless. Like he couldn't stop what's happening here even if he tried.
Sam kisses Peter; wet and hungry. Peter tastes like salt and want and everything painful. They fall to the ground and Peter unbuttons his own pants, pulls them down but not off. Sam fumbles as he tries to get his jeans undone and it feels like he’s wasting this, wasting so much time.
Sam thought his mission was daunting, but Peter has to save the world and every minute counts for something. So Sam moans, "Hurry." Peter gets his fingers inside him and Sam arches, impatiently, thrusts his hips up and tries to work Peter inside him, deeper.
Peter's eyes are closed, but Sam's are open and as he rides Peter's fingers, Sam watches him, watches every twist of Peter's lips, the way his mouth falls open when he moans and the way his eyelashes flutter against his skin.
When they fuck; hard and desperate, Sam feels like his body isn't his own, like all he can feel is what's going through Peter’s head. Like electricity living under his skin and pulsing there, and Sam can't handle it. It's too much, too intense. Horrible. Amazing.
Sam wants to remember this, wants to drown his senses with it because this is what being alive really feels like.
When Sam comes, he sees fire and blood and apocalypse and the tears fall as he collapses, exhausted.
Peter holds him and brushes the hair away from his face, thumbs away Sam's tears and tells him it's over. Sam whispers, “It doesn’t have to be.”
Sam holds Peter’s head in his hands, ready to start all over again.
Followed by Share of Bitterness